Posts

Face Fear And Eat It For Breakfast, Like a Rock Star!

Rock stars make it look so easy. Stepping out onto the stage in front of thousands of adoring fans… it’s hard to believe that they are feeling anything but confidence.

Would it surprise you to know that some of the musical greats you love have had to overcome their own insecurities and face their fears in order to become who they are today?

Just like not everyone is born a brazen entrepreneur or a commanding CEO, not every rock star is born with a mic in their hand. So, what’s the difference between those who succeed, gracing the largest stages (and boardrooms) in the world, and those who never make it out of the garage?

Fear and what we do with it. We’ve all got it. But some people aren’t willing or able to move past it. Are you?

 

7 Steps to Overcoming Fear

Overcoming your fear is like a muscle. The more you work it, the better you’ll get at it. Just like decision-making. While following these steps may take you a while in the beginning, the more practice you get, the faster you’ll move through the process. Practice makes perfect, right?

  1. Accept what you’re feeling

Pretending you’re not afraid of something doesn’t fool anyone, least of whom, yourself. Whatever you’re feeling is okay. It’s there and you’ll deal with it. Plus, it shows the human side to your band and others. It makes you more real. Be transparent with your fear.

 

  1. Identify the fear

Exactly what about the situation is making you uneasy? Are you afraid you can’t hack it? Are you afraid the outcome is outside of your control? Is your fear really not fear at all and it’s more about control? Humm. Give it a name. Much like the monsters in the closet, when you give them a name (and possibly add on some KISS makeup) they’re a lot less scary.

 

  1. Breathe to center yourself

Never underestimate the power of your breath. Your breathing has the ability to work you into a panic, or the ability to bring you peace and clarity. The best part of it? The choice is entirely yours. In the beginning, you’ll want to find a quiet place to breathe. The better you get at it, the more able you’ll be to center yourself when surrounded by your team… or thousands of screaming fans. Take a deep breath (your belly should extend out as it fills with air), hold it for a few seconds, and then breathe out. Hold it for another few seconds and then repeat the process. If you’re alone, plaster a smile onto your face during this exercise. Continue until you feel your heart rate slowing and your mind becoming clearer. Similar to meditation maybe add in a mantra.

 

  1. Imagine the worst

It may sound counterintuitive, but sometimes, imagining the worst possible outcome can actually calm us down. Pretend you’re a frontman (or woman) stepping out on a big stage for the first time. You may be thinking, “I’m a no-talent joke” or “I’m going to fall flat on my face out there.” By imagining the worst, you can make light of the possibilities. Sure, you might trip. But you also might get mauled by a tiger wearing a tutu. Hey, you never know! This is your worst-case scenario. (Someone could’ve brought a tiger!). The more ridiculous you get, the easier it will be to find humor and take the edge off. You can also reason with yourself. Ask what the worst that can happen, what’s the best that and happen, and then ask what will probably happen.

 

  1. Challenge your thoughts

It’s not likely that someone brought a tiger to your debut concert. It’s also probably not likely that half of your fears will come to fruition. Examine each individual fear and then use the evidence available (past experience, your hard work, and training, your amazing team, etc.) to challenge your thoughts. It goes back to practicing. Glenn Frey of the Eagles said they never started a tour until they rehearsed their setlist one hundred times in a row perfectly. Practice equals confidence and confidence erases fear.

 

  1. Don’t try to be perfect

If you’re doing something for the first time, there’s likely to be some hiccups along the way. Embrace the learning curve and realize that mistakes aren’t something to be afraid of, but rather something to learn from. Fail fast, fail often, and fail forward. Once you understand that failure is a good thing, it to will help eradicate fear.

 

  1. Do it anyway

Yes, you may be afraid. That’s not, however, a reason not to move forward. Use fear as a GPS. Learn to thank it and thank yourself for looking out for you… and then do it anyway.

 

Facing your fears is the secret to success. It’s the difference between taking daily massive action and minimal or no action. Or worse yet the wrong action. When you embrace your fear and use it as a sign that you’re on the right path, you will reach amazing new heights. Rather than run from fear, run headfirst into it like a rock star and step out on the stage of business and life. Trust me it’s much better than failure, mediocracy, or going out of business. Look at it this way, there is less traffic or competition on the road to fear. Like they say the greater the risk the greater the reward. Now go get your ROCK ON!

Imagine getting on a plane and you’re the only passenger. How weird is that! Some may think awesome, I can sleep! Others may find it too quiet or creepy. Your creator or whom ever you believe in made you to be social, to interact, to connect or to Love. That can’t happen when you are by yourself. When you think about the time we have on this earth compared to eternity, it’s pretty dog gone short. So why wouldn’t you take advantage of every opportunity possible to connect and love as many people as possible?

Well a lot of things get in our way. The two biggest: work and fear.  Fear of rejection, making a fool of ourselves, or just speaking out loud. But when you let these fears over take you, you lose control or lose out on opportunities. So if work is one of the factors that gets in your way of love and connection, and you are a driven person, you are probably short changing yourself and missing opportunities.

As a keynote speaker or keynote entertainer as some people call me, I have the privilege of traveling a lot.  Back in the day I was one of those guys who would find my seat, curl up to sleep, or dive into a movie or book. Can you relate? Until a few years ago when one of my coaches shared with me all of the opportunities I was missing out on by being a hermit.  The person sitting next to you could be your next gig, your next best friend. They may know someone you know, they may share knowledge that could change or help you in some way. They might even be your next love connection. Or vice versa, you might have information or a story that could be life changing for them. A pay it forward missed opportunity.  If you don’t fly a lot, then maybe you’re like this at work, a restaurant, club or other places where there are lots of people. While traveling to Orlando to speak at a conference, I was fortunate enough to receive my first class upgrade. Sitting next to me was a nice looking older woman who was giving off a really positive vibe. So I asked the standard ice-breaking question that we all know the answer to, “Where are you headed?”  “Orlando” she said with a smile. “Where are you from?”, I asked. “Atlanta. I’m heading to the World Championship of Volleyball to see my Granddaughters’ compete”. I didn’t know there was such a thing, but since I love to interview people, I started firing questions off to her. She had ordered a drink and was ready to talk. I could see how she lit up and I wanted to make sure that I was her best seat companion ever.

Before the flight was over I found out that she has been married 5 times, two of the same men twice. She had worked most of her life in the telecommunications business. She supported most of her husbands, had a son who became her priority and she was moving on through life. She asked if I have ever heard of a Rockin’ Blues player named “Joe Bonamassa. “I think I have”, I replied. “ My guitar playing buddy Mark Werner from Missouri is a fan of his.” She went on to say how she became a fan by hearing his music on a bus tour in another country and now follows him around the country. So I said, “You are a groupie”.  Her son retired at age 50 after inventing some sort of software and then selling it. Now he is a full time volleyball dad. I also found out that the Red Rock Amphitheater has 322 steps to the bottom.  I don’t know about you, but I love to here stories like this. It restores my faith in America and the American Dream.  Yes we have a lot of challenges in this country, but it is still the greatest country in the world. Challenges are what make us grow in life and at work, so if you want our country to grow, we must have them too. As I sit on a plane to Tampa with my awesome, amazing family on this 4th of July, I want to thank all the men and women of this country around the world that sacrifice daily for us to have this freedom and daily opportunities to succeed. Also to those who have given their lives. You have a duty, obligation and responsibility to your creator, (who ever you believe that to be). Personally. I choose to believe my creator is God and he wants us to be our best every day. “For me – it’s to be the BEST husband, father, Christian, and speaker I can possible be.” Do you do your best every day? Do you encourage your team and family to do their best everyday?  Do you choose love over fear?  Do you even know what your best is or what your goals are?

So where am I going with this for you?  If you make life or success your duty, obligation and responsibility you are at rock star status. Rock Stars play full out all the time. That’s how you win. That’s how you win big, sell out arenas. That’s how you win consistently. It’s a commitment. What plays a key factor in this for you is Love. You have to love what you do and who you do it with. If circumstances do not currently allow you to love what you do then love why you do it. Or whom you are doing it for.  That may mean paying it forward, trying to always be in a positive mood, helping out strangers, and yes talking to strangers on the plane.

Marie is one of my new friends and fans of Marvelless Mark. I told her about my book Opportunity Rocks and gave her a signed copy. I shared stories with her about my touring career, when I headlined at the Venetian at Las Vegas, and my current speaking tour. We exchanged information right as the wheels touched down.

Two weeks ago I received an email from Marie that brought a smile and tear to my eye at the same time. It went like this:

Marvelless Mark,

I read your book the next day.  It was incredible.  How can I order copies????  I have to say reading the book made me realize I was married to five men, not just because they were losers, but they had no goals in life.  I always had a goal, working and taking care of my son.  Although I no longer work, your book made me realize that although I embrace each day as a gift, I need some goals!!! Leaving Orlando, I was on my way to the airport and saw a helicopter and realized I have never flown in one.  As a result I am going to book a helicopter flight around Atlanta!!! I think you are now vacationing with your family in FL. Hope all is well with you and you have fun.  My phone number is 770-xxx-xxxx and I guess you can see my email is ……………….. Hoping you will send that photo you took of us.  Please let me know how to get books.   Marie

Marie purchased 7 books to share with friends, is not afraid to embrace life daily, set goals, play full out, and be her best everyday. Why ? Because she is a rock star. She gets it. Even at her age and being retired. Did I mention she was a two-time cancer survivor of lung and breast cancer?  She makes some of us younger peeps look like whining little babies. Thank you Marie for being you, sharing with me, and being a rock star role model to many.  Opportunity Rocks and you just proved it.

Please share and repost this article and let’s make changes together. 

Marvelless Mark Kamp is a Keynote Entertainer who works with organizations who want their teams to achieve rock star results. He does this in a fun, entertaining, and engaging way using the success secrets of rock stars. Mark love’s what he does and wants to share his love and passion of rock star success with the business world.